How come when people say "disturbing" things no one wants to ask why? I was raised as a Catholic. This means I was to think that everyone was my brother and sister because we all are children of God. It hurt when I saw that others did not feel the same. But I was told to love them with all my heart anyway. Is that too much to ask of someone? Some times I don't know what's right in this world. Should we love our neighbour as we love our self, even though they wouldn't care less if we got in shit for it? Or should we just care for our self, because that's how natural selection works? In a way this I think it's like communism. In theory it should work. In theory it is the best and fairest solution, but in reality... it seems so impossible. Would life have existed without selfishness? To whom do we owe our present for? Ourselves? or to God? Sorry I kind of went philosophical there. Someitmes I think I ask too many questions. My own personality frustrates me sometimes. I like to think that somewhere in heaven there's this big raffle with all sorts of different personality traits. Angels build people along a conveyor belt and stick on random personality traits like pin the tail on the donkey just to see what happens. Does boredom rule the universe? Did it create the universe? Is God the essence of boredom? I mean, what other motive could there be? God must have a motive. Without a motive... Why should existence... even exist?
I went to see the fireworks today. They were so.... pretty... and... mesmerizing. It made me sad after I saw them because I wouldn't ever see them again... if that made any sense? I don't know and it also reminded me of life. Of beauty. Beautiful things make me want to kill myself. I don't know why either. Not just aesthetically beautiful... but.. like.. emotionally beautiful. Those are killer. Hahaha.
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